Have you ever made a decision knowing it was the right one to make, but still found yourself questioning it for weeks? That was how I felt about moving to Nashville. Throughout the summer I found myself switching between feelings of excitement and pure anxiety of the situation. I knew this was where I needed to be and where I felt happiest, but leaving behind everything I had ever known was absolutely terrifying to me. Was I picking the right time in my life to do this? Was I really ready to move away from everyone I know and love?
Well, as it turns out, the world has some crazy ways of showing you how right you really are.
My best friend and I have come to the conclusion that, as much as it might suck to not talk or see each other as much as we used to, we always pick back up right where we left off. We’ll always be family and there’s really nothing that could prevent that from happening. She is living in South Carolina and I’m in Tennessee and as much as the distance may suck sometimes, we are both so unbelievably happy. So, while it may still suck to not live within walking distance, I know that she’s just a phone call away when I need her. And having that reminder was the only closure I really truly needed.
Being attached to a restaurant is probably one of the weirdest things. However, when you spent more than half your life going to a place every single week and then the other half going at least once a month, you build relationships with people. I watched one of the owners of the restaurant grow his family through adoption and came to love his sweet little girl. Him and his family watched me grow up from a tiny little kid who brought in my own vegetables to heat up as a side to go with my grilled cheese to the 20-year-old working in his restaurant every week. I was affected by his dad’s death and now by his brother’s cancer. He has had my order memorized for 16 years and never fails to come out of the kitchen to say hi when he hears the order get called in. This restaurant was more than just the food for me (because to be honest, the food wasn’t all that special). it was the people, the family. Just under a month ago, the restaurant had its last night. It stayed open until all the food ran out and all the alcohol was served. Working there this summer and knowing that I took the opportunity while it existed was closure. Knowing that this restaurant is no longer there, oddly enough, is closure for me.
Working at the YMCA last summer was probably my favorite job ever. The people I worked with have become like family to me and we still talk almost daily. My last day involved a lot of tears and hugs. However, I managed to get a job at the YMCA in Nashville not even a month after my job back in St. Louis ended. I am now having opportunities to replicate the program I worked in last summer at the YMCA down here and having this continuing family has made the transition so smooth.
Most recently, the radio station that I grew up listening to had a major shift. The main host, Guy Phillips, left the show just a few weeks ago. The show is literally called the Phillips and Company Morning Show, so him leaving is kind of a big deal. Every morning on my way to school for 15 years, that was what I listened to. On my way to work all summer, even though it was only a 3 minute drive, I listened to it. This show does not do change. Kevin, one of the 3 co-hosts, has been called Kevin The Intern since he started there, despite the fact that he has not been an intern for over 10 years. I wouldn’t necessarily call this change closure, but it was definitely another sign that I made the right call in my timing.
One of my biggest fears about moving was leaving behind my church family. These are people I saw almost every week since I was two. The building we were in had become a second home where I knew I would always be welcomed with open arms. Since I made the decision to move to Nashville and set a date, I was dreading the last Sunday I would attend that church. Leaving the people who have watched me grow up and the kiddos that I had seen become actual functioning human beings was a terrifying and extremely dreaded experience. Little did I know, the universe had plans of its own for our church. The last Sunday I would be attending SEC was July 31st. Just over a month before this date, we received an announcement that church would be closing because the building would be bought out. Our last day at SEC would be none other than July 31st. How perfect is that? The last day at SEC for me was everyone’s last day. It didn’t make it any easier to say goodbye, but it truly was the closure that I needed.
The universe is a funny thing. If you’re right, but don’t have the most faith in yourself, it is pretty persistent in showing you just how right you are. And, if you’re wrong, it will not shut up until you figure it out. I’m not saying all this to say there aren’t days where I miss St. Louis, because there have definitely been days where I just want everything to be 100% familiar again. There have been days where I feel like if I have to go through something new one more time I might throw something out a window. However, those days have been pretty few and far between. I love Nashville and the family I have created for myself down here. The closure I got was really all I needed for me to understand that the universe is on my side on this one. Finally.